Sorry ....

Had a very long chat with CC...
erm... out of work hours...n_n"
went downstairs at the cafe and sat there from 3 to the end of day...
just talk and talk and talk...

"Should sorry be said?"
"Who should say it first?"

Often I am told...
"Don't say sorry... becoz u dint do anything wrong.."
"If you say sorry when u dint do anything wrong... you put urslf down and give the other person the power to take advantage of you..."
"no... don't say sorry... wait for the other person to act first~!!"

I would have responded... "but... but..."
and in my heart I say... " but I really do feel sorry...."

CC was great... she knew exactly what I meant...
Yes... I am sorry...
but No... I am not sorry for what I did or not done...
I am sorry for what the other person went through...
and especially when it is because of me... just me and not what I have done...

For those I have said sorry to....
I did mean my sorry...
For those I might say sorry to....
I will mean my sorry...
I know some may think I said it just for the sake of saying it...
but... I mean it...
As I would have gone through thousands of thoughts at the same time...
searching for a better way than saying sorry...
only if I can make things better....